HMV (harboring much velocity)

I love things. Hard.

I love things especially hard the safer it is to love them, the less likely they'll change, leave, want a new girlfriend, or be anything other than what I want them to be. This is why I love movies and TV shows the most, where I am surprized and excited and I fall in love. I crush on them like i'm 14 and they never let me down. Until, of course, I change. Then I seemlessly orchestrate a break up and they go right on as if nothing happened. This seems to be the dynamic I strive for in all my relationships and is it healthy? No, of course it's not. It's not even love. Love is about mutual benefits, interconnection and fulfillment for both parties. Love is the bee to the flower, not the girl with fear of abandonment to the DVD box set.

You know the date where you meet their best friend and they are obviously in love with their best friend? Try watching a movie with me.

I know I'm freshly in love when I don't want anyone else to be able to look and or enjoy the thing I love. Yesterday I wandered aimlessly into HMV and found the newly released Freaks and Geeks Yearbook Edition DVD set on the shelf. I have been dreaming of this set, talking about it and preparing for our first date ever since I knew it was in development. I became an android and scanned my entire life's history for a loophole which would allow me access to this glorious item costing $129 when I only had five quarters until midnight (the hour when spirits roam, carriages revert to pumpkinism, and my cheques clear.) I remembered this other time I aimlessly wandered into another HMV--It being of course much easier to wander into music mega-stores than smaller, more exclusive music stores. I don't question my belonging in a demographic broad enough to house that guy looking for a Daniel Johnston CD and that girl buying an adaptor that plugs into the lighter jack in her car so she can listen to Rihanna on her way to visit her long distance boyfriend who's living with a host family and playing regional hockey. I don't feel sheepish and inadequate in that store. I'm not afraid of talking to the employees in that store, and good thing I'm not, otherwise the nice girl would never have told me she could open a Q-Tip CD for me. That's allowed. Can you believe it, people? HMV can just open CDs (AND FREAKS AND GEEKS BOX SETS) then reseal them.

My point in all this is that after I had gotten my fill of the Yearbook edition, I wanted to burn it. If I had to leave that store--and I HAD to leave that store--I didn't want anyone else to be able to walk in and buy it. I wanted the entire heap of them burned. I'm not entirely exaggerating this urge. It's primal, and it doesn't just apply to DVDs, people.

It's not safe to love me, it's not safe for me to love you.